Elizabeth Zhang, your stereotypical overachieving Chinese- American female student is obsessed with getting into Harvard Law School. She is a senior at Columbia university in New York, 3.9 GPA, she runs her life based on analytics and what percentile she places, and is judgemental to the core.
The unthinkable happens – Elizabeth does not get into Harvard Law. She finds out that her classmate, Laura Kim, a seemingly entitled Korean student, the model immigrant who is originally destined for a career in banking, does get a spot in Harvard Law. Elizabeth wants to get to the bottom of it and visit admissions — where she is told that those schools need something more from the students who apply, something exceptional, even for Asian students. This is where Elizabeth lands on not wanting to be a “Boring Asian Female”, needing to find a story for her next Harvard application.
The story unravels from there, as Elizabeth becomes further obsessed with trying to get into Harvard. She begins to mimic Laura, stalking her, becoming more reckless in trying to take Laura down. I initially felt some empathy for her, having grown up in an Asian family, where prestige is paramount, and the heavy weight of expectations to achieve greatness a constant – even if expectations were self-imposed. It seems the same in Elizabeth’s case, as her single mother appears more forgiving a figure.
Without spoilers, Elizabeth’s actions spiral in horrible ways, her thinking warped by this obsession with Harvard. Everything she does relates to creating the downfall of Laura Kim, so that Elizabeth can take this coveted spot she feels she is more deserving of.
An unreliable, increasingly hateful character, at some points her reactions and thoughts were ridiculous, laughable – satirical. By the end, I could not stand Elizabeth. I think that was the point. However, I couldn’t put the book down, I had to know how it would end! Although I don’t know if I was super satisfied with the ending. Super quick read, I finished it in a few days. Great debut. Thanks to the author, Penguin Random house and Netgalley for an advanced reader copy in exchange for a review.
It’s not that I haven’t had stuff to blog about, it’s the time. I need to get some of my creative mojo back.
What have I been up to ? What have you been up to?
Concert of the year so far…Gary Numan. Remember him? The OG of synth, 80’s legend. He was pretty magnetic at the Concert hall a few weeks ago.
We’d been wanting to see him live for a number of years as he does include Toronto on his tours. His vibe is quite a bit heavier, more industrial these days. I wasn’t expecting Nine Inch Nails – but keeping it fresh means evolving with the times, I suppose. He did play his classics though, Cars and Friends Electric. Surprisingly – for me, at least – it was a very male audience (you can always tell by the lineup for the washrooms – it was almost Rush concert-like!)
***
The birds were singing this morning. It sounds like spring!
I still struggle with sleep, so I bit the bullet and asked my doctor for some prescription help. The melatonin/ ashawanga, off the shelf options are not doing it for me anymore unfortunately. But it shouldn’t be a long term solution. She suggested good sleep hygiene and even CBT. I’ve checked a lot of the boxes with sleep hygiene but the ipad use is still a work in progress. This is hard as the reading in bed thing is something I find relaxing.
My friend suggested I try a reset for my cirrcadian rhythm based on info from Dr. Andrew Huberman, all around sunlight at the beginning of the day and then at sunset. Exposure of the eye/ retina to sunlight, behind the glass from inside, is just not good enough. Worth a try, especially now that the weather is getting much better and I can spend five minutes outside. I let the sounds of the birds chirping waft over me while I gazed through the trees at the early morning sun peeking back at me at 6:43 am. Another tip – consistency of wake and sleep times, weekends notwithstanding.
He’s a pretty cool guy, this Dr. Huberman. I love science-based content. The latest podcast talks about emotion science and AWE. The shift from small to huge – embracing that in the everyday. I want to experience more AWE in my everyday life.
***
Are you on Substack? I know it started out primarily as a space for writers.. I signed up a few years thinking it might be a blog space with WordPress and another way to connect with writers. I’ve signed up to several newsletters. It’s since exploded to become more of an experience with subscriptions, and a marketing opportunity. There’s so much nowadays– IG, Facebook, Threads, substack… I think they can all connect but it’s hurting my head a bit thinking about how I could pull it all together.
***
Speaking of writing, I have done absolutely nothing related to my memoir project. My colleagues have progressed a fair bit though, and I feel so privileged to be a part of their process. One is even close to publishing! I have the beginnings of another chapter in mind, after having watched a couple of films related to fathers and daughters – Aftersun and Sentimental Value. I miss my Dad – he’s been gone 17 years – but it was sometimes complicated with him.
***
To file under “first world problems, annoying but still kind of hilarious”
Exhibit A :I’ve been having major issues with my garage door opener. I’d had it set up as a signal from my car, but that started failing almost a year ago – so I switched to old school remote, which worked for a little bit, but stopped.. and then for months I fiddled with both the remote, the keypad, replacing the remote batteries, putting the remote next to the keyboard… all of those things worked for a time but failed. The latest hack, I drive up as close as possible to the garage door, until my car screams at me, then I hit the remote.
So what happens if it doesn’t work – just pull up a little closer right? Ahem. Too close and your licence plate will catch the garage door on the way up and scrape, rattle and rumble! Headsmack.
Well at least everything is plastic. No major harm done.
Exhibit B: We haven’t had a working oven since February. With just the two of us, an Air Fryer will do. I don’t bake. But my daughter does – “what’s with the oven? when are we getting a new one?” It’s in her DNA and she’s got a major sweet tooth- banana bread, cookies, cupcakes …Frankly it’s been easier on our waistline without her baking, but it has been almost 3 months. Our Kitchenaid is also from 2007 so it’s time for a new one.
A stove is a stove right? Let’s get a new Kitchenaid and slide it in – how difficult can it be? After months of research, we landed on the right model and just in case, he measured our counter top – turns out the new versions don’t have that extra lip that had an overhang that we had to fill with extra countertop. So they all stick out now! We had to find a guy to remove that extra piece to accommodate the new models. $550 later (he does this over 100 times a year apparently) … we are good to go.
***
My daughter’s boyfriend is visiting, he brought his tortoise, as his apartment is being fumigated. He met my Mom for the first time, my daughter took him with her for Dim Sum. First time he’s had dim sum. My Mom really likes him – I told him he passed. He is a nice young man.
They are now back home giving the tortoise a bath. I know, very random.
***
I’ve been watching Keane on Youtube in the background while I blog, here’s a taste..
Off to get a new Kitchenaid, and get out on a hike for Vitamin D, and more reading.
An unnamed author, a writer in her 60s, reflects on her teenage years growing up in a town in Norway. She focusses on a particular time in her life, at 16, when as most 16 year olds, she was looking to expand socially, see life beyond homework, beyond just hanging out with girfriends, discovering boys and partying.
She was the eldest daughter, the second born of six children, and yet her mother was obsessively watching only her, wanting to know her every move, criticizing her, warning her of the perils of drinking, alcohol, sex. All the things that the author was drawn to do, even though she was a very dutiful daughter…the author was driven to telling lies so she could do these regular things with her teen friends (under the guise of homework). She was more drawn to those activities likely because her mother was so vehemently opposed. Her father, a very distant figure, the breadwinner of the family, would always tell her mother to leave her well enough alone. Likely more for his sake, so he wouldn’t have to continually listen to the drama. Such an oppressive household, but interesting that the mother is so different with her younger siblings.
The repetition is in the description of her daily life, a teen’s life, going to school, meeting her friends, discovering makeup, burgeoning interest in boys – it seems quite a regular adolescent existence. Almost mundane. What is irregular is her mother’s attitude, hovering, fearful for her daughter.
As a reader, you are lulled not into boredom, it’s quiet, this seemingly normal life of a typical teen. There were some great details in the descriptions, placing you right there in the house parties, while she went for her little date with her first boyfriend, many of the passages seemed like they were pages from a diary, that the author was that teen girl, rather than recalling the events over 40 years later.
I sensed a latent darkness, wondered if there was something to be revealed. At the climactic event, when things take a turn, you are hit with a gut punch. The ending in incredibly healing.
An effective memoir-like novel. I read somewhere that this category is known as “auto-fiction” – not quite autobiography, some basis in fiction. A short read, I finished it in a day. Because it was so ordinary and extraordinary at the same time, it will sit with me for a while. A solid 4 star read. Thanks to Netgalley, Verso publishing and the author for an ARC for review.
I did Pilates for the first time in 20 years today. No excuses, I’m on an island paradise and needed to do something physical…
Pilates with a view…
Hips are tight ! I thought I was in good shape but I’m feeling all of my years trying to move my limbs around these crickety hips. Circle one way-breathe-exhale…10 times…now the other way…
Have you caught Bridgerton Season 4? Parts 1 and 2? Have you watched scenes multiple times like I have?
Obsessed, I am. Bawling big time.
I am a sucker for historical romance on screen and in print. But I didn’t think I would cry so much.
Two people feeling unseen. Finding each other, improbably, with society and social norms getting in the way.
Oh the leads are gorgeous by the way. It’s also nice to see representation of an interracial couple, fantasy as it were, back at that time. The power imbalance true to the day with their places in society, but not from a point of view of race. The writing and the performances illustrated that they were equals in the relationship.
I hope in the sequels there will be little Benophies. Wasians are certainly currently having a moment . Happy to have contributed to that movement.
This scene, for me, it’s up there with the Pride and Prejudice love confession.
I devoured Heather Marshall’s debut novel, “Looking for Jane” and was so excited to be provided an ARC of “Liberty Street “ in exchange for a review. I am happy to give this a five star review as I did for “Jane” , I was not disappointed and will now continue to be a huge fan of Heather’s.
I love reading about places in the Toronto local neighborhoods, which I know must hide many secrets of times gone by. Liberty village has been a popular spot for “cool, hip “ types young folks and businesses for a number of years. Who knew of the dark history of that area, and an even darker, horrific time for women if they got on the wrong side of the law, had mental illness , married interracially and bore children , or could be jailed just because their father/ husband decided that they were too wild, “incorrigible” and needed to conform? What the author describes happening to women there was page turning but I also had to look away and take breaks, as it was also difficult to read.
It is the early 1960’s, Toronto. We follow Emily Radcliffe, a junior journalist at Chatelaine, who is anxious to write her first big article for the woman’s magazine. Although she has a serious boyfriend who she expects will ask her to marry, the thought of domesticity does not sit well with her; she would prefer the route of her father, a well known journalist and soldier who survived to write about it. She has an identical twin sister who is the model young wife and mother. Emily stumbles on a potential story when she is approached by a female prisoner of the Mercer prison for women, on Liberty street. She has the backing of her hero and mentor Doris Anderson (a real person, I remember her as editor. I used to subscribe to Chatelaine as a young woman) …who agrees to support her . Her father reluctantly agrees to help her get in to the prison at Emily’s begging, he realizes it may be dangerous but he understands Emily’ s need to search for the truth.
A parallel story unfolds in the 1990s with a female detective, Rachel Mackenzie, who is called to determine the identity of a young woman buried in an unmarked grave in small-town Ontario (Bayfield, now cottage country). Rachel had a tumultuous upbringing marred by an unstable mother who suffered from mental illness, which was left untreated during a time when these things were misunderstood. The family dysfunction and secrets added more darkness to an already tragic story around the women’s prison.
The author’s conducted some deep research , and she wove such an impressive tale, connecting two stories in the most creative and satisfying way. Interestingly the parts about Rachel growing up resonated with me as well, it seems we would have been contemporaries, her descriptions of pop culture at the time were bang-on.
I love a good Canadian author, so happy to have discovered this one to follow!
Thanks to NetGalley, penguin random house and the author for the advanced copy… what a fabulous book!
Wow that is so pretty, I used AI for this. It’s the year of the Fire Horse. The Year of the Fire Horse may be described as a period of increased activity and stronger expression.
For snakes like me, apparently it will be a year to be seen. No pressure.
But it sort of makes sense, last year was a bit of a transformation year. We did a big renovation, changes in our family dynamic, adjusting to a new reality. This year has already been a bit tumultuous. Fiery is good, but life also needs to be about balance.
A story about unresolved trauma, divided families, buried family secrets that starts out with a mysterious 16 year old orphan girl, with nowhere to go. Bec is a recent widow, dealing with the loss of a beloved husband and mother of twin teenagers. She’s had a long rift with her parents – lying to her kids even about their existence. Skye is the young girl who shows up at Bec’s program – Bec’s business helps people reclaim/ rebuild their lives. Bec’s program offers an alternative to detention as long as Skye, who has had run-ins with the law and difficulties with foster care, shows up for scheduled sessions. Anna runs a counseling centre, and Bec decides to involve her in helping Skye. When Bec realizes that Skye is homeless, hungry, and is not staying with her fosters; her kids convince her to let Skye stay with them temporarily. We learn more about Anne life and her past as well. Eventually it becomes clear how their lives intersected unknowingly many years ago.
This was a super quick read – I read it in a day as the plot moved along quickly. I was emotionally vested, even if some of the plot twists were rather convenient. But I could sympathize with the main characters. There was foreshadowing which was enough for me to figure out the natural conclusion. This is the first book I read by this author. I would read another.
This just published on January 28. I would recommend this 4/5 . Thanks to the Boldwood Books, the author and Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for a review.
Winter olympics! Perfect weekend for it, woke up to -21 degree weather.
I’m Canadian, but that is really cold.
I was in Montreal for most of this past week, for a work meeting. Montreal was also VERY cold.
Figure skating, skiing, curling (ever done that? it’s fun!), HOCKEY — I’m excited to watch.
*** I finally got to the gym today, That’s one thing about travel for work – I’ve always packed gym stuff, but very rarely went to the hotel gym. This time I didn’t even bother packing anything. But that meant four full days without the a workout. That, combined with extra coffee breaks, extra carbs, buffet meals and breakfast (I don’t eat breakfast) meant I did gain some weight. Arrrggggghhhh! I was doing so well too.
Darn it.
Remember that issue with my foot before Christmas? I got an X-ray. No fracture, but evidence of arthritis, bone spurs (and bunions, which I knew about). I need to back off on high impact — or at least “modify” my exercise.
I have tried Bodypump Heavy which just rolled here in Canada. Slower reps with heavier weights. Not as much cardio but strength development is a new priority for me. Hopefully that will help.
I did “Moist” January (I finally broke the last weekend before February. Lately, if I overindulge, my sleep suffers for it.)
But on another sleep note, we got a new bed! Yippee! The last time we bought ourselves a bed was 25 years ago. Long overdue.
We went for Indian food tonight – perfect cozy meal for a weekend like this.
At a time 
These hips…
Need more rotation.
I did Pilates for the first time in 20 years today. No excuses, I’m on an island paradise and needed to do something physical…
Hips are tight ! I thought I was in good shape but I’m feeling all of my years trying to move my limbs around these crickety hips. Circle one way-breathe-exhale…10 times…now the other way…
So much harder than cardio!
I did weights yesterday.
Pilates also much more difficult than body pump.
I think I just found a new imperative .